Recently a mother I knew died in a tragic car accident, leaving behind five children. When I went to her Facebook page, I noticed the most recent family pictures were of her husband and kids, she wasn't in a single one. I immediately thought how sad it was that they didn't have pictures with their mom. Then that thought pained me because I hate having my picture taken. I have two beautiful kids and an amazing husband, but when it is time for pictures I avoid being in them at all costs. Why? Because the outside of me doesn't match how I feel inside.
A little background...I was a little chubby as a child, then thinned out in middle school and spent my high school years as a member of our dance team. I exercised a lot, and ate very little. The weight I remember being in high school was 144 pounds (we had to be at a certain weight for our height to perform the routines). For 5'9", that is a pretty low weight but I always, ALWAYS felt fat. In college I was roommates with three girls who are all very petite (height and weight), in all of our pictures together I looked enormous and felt, once again, like a fatty. I married my wonderful husband when I was 21 and feeling comfortable and loved, started eating with abandon. I remember at one point my jeans were uncomfortably small. Instead of seeing that as a warning signal and exercising or eating healthier, I just bought a bigger size of pants. If only I could go back in time, right? It's amazing how quickly I ballooned up to over 240 pounds. We wanted to have a baby, so I did the Atkins diet and lost 40 pounds over a period of 4 months. I got pregnant soon after and gained 52 pounds (!) during my first pregnancy. I lost 20 pounds and remained at 232 until I got pregnant with my daughter. I only gained 25 pounds that pregnancy but haven't really lost that weight and my daughter is almost 3!
I'm tired of dieting though. And every time I look at my handsome son and sweet daughter I want to stop this endless cycle of gaining and losing weight. I want them to grow up with a mom who is healthy and active. I want to be a good example for my mom and dad who are struggling with their weight. I want to feel comfortable in my body and gladly step in front of the camera.
So here I am. I'm so excited to be a part of Win, Lose or Blog. The dieter and competitor in me wants to do something drastic and lose a lot of weight. But this is the last time I'm losing weight, and I'm going to do it right! I'm hoping all of you readers will be my support system, to buoy me up and/or kick my butt when I'm having a bad day, and to clap for me when I'm on the right track.
My strategy is this:
-Exercise at least 60 minutes a day
-Eat only when I'm hungry, and stop when I am full
-Kitchen is closed after dinner (late night snacking is a bad habit of mine)
-Weigh myself only once a week
-Blog my progress each day (so you can keep me on track!)
-Full disclosure (no secret brownie-a-thons!)
I'm excited to get to "know" you. Does anyone have other strategies they think I should add to my list?
Thank in advance for your help and support, it means a lot to me!